Friday, August 21, 2009

The Jasper Flashback: A (Potential) Rant

I was catching up on my TwiCrack yesterday when I came across this on

I am praying for this not to be true. Please, for the love of Sam Houston, do not let this be what they are using as the backdrop for his conversion to vampire-hottie-dom.

I really don't want to sound like a purist or anything like that, but the whole scene took place about a mile south of H-town on the way to Galveston. And, you know what? I was pretty jazzed about that (no pun intended). Why? 'Cuz I was born and raised in this god-forsaken part of Texas! I could picture in my head EXACTLY what the whole scene looked like because I freakin' live here!

For all you people who have never visited the fourth largest city in the US (yeah, betcha didn't know that, eh? Houston gets NO respect.) or even had to change planes here (and if you've flown Continental, you probably have), WE DON'T HAVE MOUNTAINS! We are F-L-A-T. Like the chests of all those 12-year-old fangirls at Hot Topic. We have trees, bayous (creeks and rivers... depends on how much it has rained) and golf courses. We're even pretty darn green, unlike the desert-like landscape of the above picture. It rains, on average, 46" a year here, granted half of that is often all at one time (see Hurricane Ike for further reference).

See? Flat!

SIDE: There was a VERY short-lived TV show in the eighties set in Houston. I can't even remember the name of it. But the gist of it was that these cowboys were out in the canyons/mountains herding "dogies" when they were struck by lightning. The lightning transported these cowboys into the future. I remember watching the opening scene of the show (The family was gathered 'round the tv set. We were all excited that someone would actually set a tv show here.) when they stumble to the edge of the canyon and look down to see a modern downtown Houston. We all burst out laughing! It was a huge joke in town. People would laugh about their weekend plans, saying they were going to head out to the mountains to get in some skiing.

Speaking of Ike, it hit Galveston. You know, the place where Major Whitlock was evacuating people from the island? Because of the Battle of Galveston? Seems historically incorrect to have him in deep West Texas (where the mountains and desert are).

I know, they'll just re-write some lame reason for him to be out on horseback, riding around in the desert... where nobody lives. Still. To this day. Why? Sure, it's beautiful out there, but nothing is out there, but hikers and UFOs. Seriously! I've driven through it! You can GoogleEarth it. And to be fair, I did have to quickly dodge a rolling tumbleweed while driving 83 mph on I-10. That was unreal. I thought that kind of thing only happened in cartoons.

I've never been to Canada, or the Pacific Northwest for that matter, but there HAS to be somewhere up there (or at the very least a clever camera angle) some way to do this scene without the stereotypical "I'm in Texas, so there must be desert and canyons and stuuuuff. Hey, Joe! See if you can get some tumbleweeds!" Summit uses computers to make the werewolves... CGI some accurate landscape or something.

Don't even get me started on the potential accents they might be planning to use (too late), with one notable and majorly important exception: Jackson Rathbone. I have to give Catherine Hardwick some major credit here. Thank you for casting the Texan vampire with someone who grew up here! This is the main reason neither I nor anyone else I know who grew up in the Texas/Louisiana area can stand to watch True Blood. I tried. Really, I did! I even tried to convince myself that "it's so bad, it's good" (and I'm a big fan of that genre: see Attack of the Killer Tomatoes and The Rocky Horror Picture Show). But the atrocious fake accents just put me off my dinner (that and the corny cha-ching noise you hear when their vampire fangs come out). It's like hearing fingernails on a chalkboard, or maybe a metal fork scraping against a metal mixing bowl. Actually, for you peeps from NJ, it's like hearing people pretend they are from the Garden State... by way of Long Island. SIDE: Had a roommate from Long Island once, along with a roomie from "Basston" and another roomie from New Orleans. We posted a piece of paper on our living room wall where we would write our favorite "localisms" like: "Ba: a place you go to drink" or "Ka: what you drive to get to the Ba."

New PE? Hmmmm....

I know that only a few days ago I was salivating fantasizing thinking about how awesome it would be to have a mini-RayBanward doll action figure. I mean, Texas is a pretty sunny state... well, sort of. There is the local saying that if you don't like Houston weather, wait five minutes. It will change. This is mainly true in the summer months due to the heat. So, yeah, like I said, it's sunny here (just bring an umbrella with you)!

Then I came across this on

Oooooooooo! Who wants a New Moon Edward doll? Meeeeeeee!!! His feet look like they would help him stand up a lot better than the current PE does. Which is not at all.

Is it just me, or is Bella looking kinda butch? She reminds me of that Linda Hamilton chick from the Terminator movies. Doesn't she? I'd totally kill for arms like that, tho.

UPDATE (comments from the peanut gallery, ie. my son... who turns 10 on Sunday. Happy birthday!): He just walked in the computer room after I posted and glanced over my shoulder.

Son: Are those the new dolls?
Me: Yup, from New Moon.
Son: Bella looks freaky.
Me: I know, right?
Son: Yeah, but Edward looks really freaky. It's like he's got on too much make-up.
Me: Well... yeah.
Son: And Jacob, he looks like he's been tanning too much.
Me: He's Native American. He's supposed to be tan.

My son just looks at me funny and walks back to watch more iCarly.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Blog woes

I don't know what the heck is going on with my blog. Maybe it's punishment for me not blogging like a good girl? Anyway, I need your help!

When I published last night, I noticed that half my images disappeared. Crap. That sucks... fekking blogspot. When I got to my work computer today, to upload a picture that I couldn't find on my laptop, not only were the pictures THERE, but also the ones I replaced last night! That's right. Double pictures. "WTF?!" I said out loud, in my office, with the door wide open.

However, when I got home this afternoon and pull up my blog to delete the doubles, what do I find? No doubles. Looks perfectly normal!

I'm beginning to suspect my laptop may not have recovered from the stupid virus as well as I thought it did. Right now, I'm debating whether or not I should just take a picture of it and photoshop "FAIL" across it?

This is where you, the reader, comes in. Please let me know what you see! I need outside opinions... or glasses. Which would suck, since I had LASIK five years ago. Just post what's-what in the comment section, if you please! Thanks!!!

Speaking of "FAIL", please enjoy the following image from FailBlog that made me snicker today:

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Yep, I suck (pun not intended)

First off, I need to apologize. Profusely. I haven't blogged in ages. There are many reasons I could give you: I got busy with work (yes, true, but only recently); I got busy with my son's soccer (also true, but honestly, I've had time); blah, blah, blah. I could even tell you how I stupidly tried to "bit-torrent" Dreamweaver CS4 two weeks ago, downloaded a virus that I thought I got rid of only to have it be a Trojan virus called "Total Security" and totally K-I-L-L-E-D my laptop (that I managed to revive only yesterday). SIDE: TOTALLY panicked on that one! All my RPattz/Remember Me/NYC trip pics are on this thing and not uploaded anywhere (with the exception of maybe 7 of them on my Facebook account).

Truth be told, I was lazy, not feeling very creative or loquacious, and was completely sucked in to another book series called Outlander (Thanks, FTF!). Sorry, hot Scottish men in kilts captured my complete and utter attention for a while.

Do you blame me? Would you turn THIS down?

I've even been taking PE pictures! *mumble* I just haven't posted them...ahem. Yeah. I know. I suck. I'm sorry.

So, as a start, PE, my son and I went to a private listening party Monday night for the new MUTEMATH CD (which is sooooo good!).

For you Twilight people out there, they are the band that did "Spotlight" on the soundtrack. It's the song that's in the background when RayBanward (my personal fave) and Bella get out of the Volvo at school. Yes, "Spotlight" is on the new CD.

Mmmm, RayBanward... that reminds me: I really need to find a way to justify buying the mini-RayBanward to myself. I just can't bring myself to buy it because I totally don't want the mini-Bella that comes with it. I'm sure she'd just whine, as she does, about having to be at the bottom of my purse all day. PE doesn't complain, even if his feet are constantly tangled up in my headphones cord.