Sunday, May 31, 2009

Ahh, you know it's going to be a good day when...

...the lady at the donut shop throws in a bunch of hot-from-whatever-machine-they-make-donut-goodness-from donut holes in your bag for free! Mmmmmm!

It's going to be a great day. Full of awesome-goodness. Why, you ask? Aside from the donut holes, today we are taking the kids to their first REAL concert (no, Hannah Montana and the Cheetah Girls at the Rodeo DO NOT COUNT. I refuse to accept that). We are going to see No Doubt and Paramore (PE is pretty excited about the latter). Also, the New Moon trailer is being premiered tonight on the MTV Movie Awards. I'm DVR'ing that sucker so I can watch Robward over and over and over....

But really, things started last night at the Dynamo game against Toronto. We've been looking forward to this game for a few reasons, mainly because the husband and my son raised money for Bald Is Beautiful. It's a charity championed by my fave player, Craig Waibel, to help fight pediatric cancer. The gist of yesterday's events is that my son and husband got their heads shaved at the game.

PE offers to shine Connor's head for a quarter

To top the evening off, we killed Toronto 3-0. I probably need to explain this. Our "top player" last year (I say "top player" because that's what the sports writers say.) left us unexpectedly between seasons to go to Toronto... cuz he's a Canuck I guess. This game was the first time he's played back here since the defection. Let me put this in Northerner terms: this would be, hypothetically, like Roger Clemens leaving the Sox to play for the Yankees. All the sports writers, etc. say the Sox haven't a hope in hell to do well ever again without Clemens. Then, say, the Yankees come to play in Boston with Clemens pitching... and then the Sox BEAT THE SNOT OUT OF THEM. Yeah, it was that awesome. We scored all three goals in a total of 5 minutes.

And the cherry on the top of the Dynamo game cake? This was there in the parking lot:

I had no idea Mickey D's had their own equivalent of the Wiener-mobile!

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

More Than 15 Minutes of Warning This Time

ABC Family (check your local listings) will be showing Rob Pattinson in all his hot-Diggory-goodness this Sunday, May 31st (1/12c & 7:30/6:30c).

EDIT: I just realized that this will probably conflict with watching the MTV Movie Awards. Pick your poison, I guess. I, myself, will be recording the MTV awards as the fam and I will be at the No Doubt/Paramore concert in the Woodlands that night!

O.M.G. My New Robward Porn

Don't click if you don't want any movie spoilers! If you don't care about that (cuz I obviously don't), you WILL be rewarded!

Shirtless Edward!

But, wait! There's more!

UPDATE!!! Holy crap! Someone put the photos in order! Don't push play unless you want to be spoiled! I, however, could care less. I mean, come on! We read the book, right? I have no problems being spoiled by Robward's bare-chestedness.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009


Yeah, this was posted everywhere else last week, but HEY! I'm just catching up on my Twi-Crack! James Cam Gigandet gets attacked by Twi-fanatics:

I love Funny-or-Die. Ever see the vid of Will Ferrell and Pearl? High-freakin-larious!

Good Intentions

I know, I KNOW! I haven't blogged in over a week. I have even been off of work since last Tuesday. I was looking forward to several days of sitting at home in front of my computer posting all the PE photos I've been taking! Unfortunately, I spent almost all of it acting like Mike Newton in the movie theater bathroom. I don't know if it's a stomach flu or possible food poisoning, but it's not a pleasant feeling. My insides hate me.

So, instead of blogging or doing much of anything productive, I laid in bed reading "Wide Awake" on my iPhone (I seriously hope the author posts a new chapter soon! I've finished the 49 chapters she's posted so far) and groaning... a lot. Really. Just ask my annoyed husband.

I'm starting to feel better (See? I'm posting!) so I will hopefully be posting about the events of last week soon. It'll be like time travel, but without having to shell out the $45,000 for a DeLorean.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Offical New Moon Poster Released

Where the hell have I been and how did I miss this?!

Starting to See the Light of Day

I've been pretty neglectful of late in regards to taking pics of PE and posting them. You know how it is... sucked into reading online TwiSmut having kids and all. So, starting this past weekend, I decided to make an effort to pull PE out of my purse more often.

I started with Girl Scouts on Saturday. The moms were pleased that PE decided to actually show up this time and he was more than happy to help one of the moms with her dues.

I then had to take the kids to a bowling party. Full of potential opportunities, right? Nope. The youngest had an "accident" right after we got there, so I had to take her home. By the time I got back, the party was over.

Skip to Monday morning. I never made it to the grocery store Sunday (thanks again to fan fiction) so I was totally out of chai. You have to understand that chai is my coffee. No chai = grumpy girl no one wants to be around. Therefore, the husband is more than willing to make a detour on our morning commute via the Starbucks' drive-thru. While we sit in the drive-thru line, he posts on Facebook that he's at Starbucks. One of his friends posts back that my husband should post a picture. Hmmm. PE is in my purse....

Woo-hoo! Starbucks to the rescue!

However, in the middle of our caffiene-inspired celebration, I hit a bump.

I am assured that PE was never actually stepped on.

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Getting UR RPattz Fix Tonight

Tonight on ABC, in about 15 minutes (8 eastern/7 central), Goblet of Fire is airing. Mmmm, Cedric....

Friday, May 15, 2009

Getting Lost

I wanted to post this yesterday, but with soccer try-outs and all... just didn't happen.

This one is for my husband who loves Lost. Thanks to TwiCrack Addict for posting this! If you go the site listed at the end of the video, there are multiple episodes of Robot Chicken Lost. I haven't watched them yet, but I will.

It's nice to know that other people, besides Seth Green, the Twitards and myself, play with action figures.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Expanding PE's Musical Horizons

Let me preface this with "I'm working off of 3 hrs. sleep here, so this post might suck." Not the good a-Cullen-hottie-is-nibbling-on-your-neck suck, but total suckage as in riddled with errors and stuff that might seem really funny to me at the time but actually makes no sense what-so-ever. Also, the pics of PE came out fuzzy for some reason. I'm blaming lighting, not user error... or crap on the lense. Thx.

One of my all-time fave bands is Nine Inch Nails. I try to never miss a tour. So, I was deeply saddened when Trent Reznor announced that NIN was "going away for a while" and that this would be a farewell tour of sorts. However, to go out with a bang, he invited Jane's Addiction to reunite again out on tour with him. The name of the tour would be NIN|JA. Yeah, I thought it was effin clever too! I've never managed to see Jane's Addiction in concert before. Something always came up like lack of funds or them breaking up. Needless to say, I was pretty jazzed at the idea of going to this! Off I run to my laptop and look up potential concert dates. Nothing was really listed, but the local radio station proclaimed that it was stopping in H-town June 3rd. I'm not sure where they got their info from, but I'm thinking it was something along the lines of the Weekly World News. I'm sure that same source also said that Bat Boy and the Echo-location Band was opening. June 3rd they are supposed to be in MA which, last time I looked, is no where near the state of TX. The only date in TX was to be in Austin. Can you say Road Trip? Sure you can! I knew you could.

I'm all for this... until I notice that the concert is on a Tuesday night. This is also when the husband loses any amusement for this idea. I assure him that it will be fine. My NIN concert buddy (FTF) will be going with me and we did just fine driving back from New Orleans on a Sunday night/Monday morning after VooDoo Fest (in October... the last time we saw NIN). Truth be told, we weren't fine. I mean, we got home fine with no probs, but it was 5:30am Monday morning when I pulled into the driveway, got 45 min. sleep and then the husband kicked me out of bed and MADE ME GO TO WORK! He thought it was high-larious. But, Austin's WAY closer than NOLA, so it shouldn't be a big deal, right?

Then FTF bails due to work. OK, I have a back-up friend to go with me. No worries. Fast forward to yesterday. She bails. She has swine flu an upper respiratory infection. Fuck. I try everyone I can think of. I mean EVERYONE! Old friends I haven't seen in person since high school, Facebook buddies, even the husband's friends who I don't even know! No takers. Why? Because it's on a stupid Tuesday night... in another stupid town. Eventually, we manage to get my (pregnant) cousin to switch shifts at work and go with me. Yay!!!

We swing by her house after sneaking out of work early, pick her up and come home. I needed a few minutes to change into some appropriate concert attire and to face paint give PE a goth-type makeover. He already has the whole angst-emo look going, so he really only needed some white foundation and guy-liner (yeah, I know he's already supposed to be pale, but come on. Seriously? I'm whiter than this guy. OK, maybe I shouldn't admit that I blind planes with my skin as they pass overhead).

Me, my cuz and PE ready for the road trip!

Two hours later, we get to the venue (along with every other drunk 18 yr old douche that saw a NIN or JA t-shirt in Hot Topic and thought it was cool). SIDE: Ya know, "douche" is a great word. Try to use it more often in everyday conversation. It's not hard and rolls off the tongue easily. I pick my tickets up from Will-Call and head in. I need to mention that the tickets are pretty sweet. They're all shiny/holographic and have my name printed directly on them! We get violated padded down and then I have to have my purse searched. Of course, that's where I keep PE.

Purse searcher: Is that a doll in your purse?

Me: He's not a doll. He's an action figure!

PE didn't seem to mind. I think he enjoyed the attention. His make-up did look pretty bad-ass. First band up was Street Sweeper Social Party, formally known as just Street Sweeper. I think they added "Social Party" to the name because SSSC looks cooler on a t-shirt. For those who don't know (or care), this is Tom Morello's (of Rage Against the Machine) new project. Trust me, no one came to see SSSC. They came to see this:

NIN hit the stage next, which was a complete surprise. I have no idea why I thought Jane's Addiction would come on first. Maybe it's because Perry Farrell needed some time for his pain meds to kick in (he tore his calf muscle the show before this one). Maybe he just wanted to bask in Trent's music-god glory?

I spy with my little eye Perry Farrell
crouching behind the drum kit watching the show.

Honestly, I've never seen a show with such a major over-use of a smoke machine. I guess they were renting it by the hour and decided to make the most of it. I can't believe the paramedics weren't called in to treat the band for inhalation. Soon, people started crowd surfing, as they do. PE thought this looked like fun, so he joined in. It's not like a vampire can get hurt doing this stuff (unlike the rest of us).

Soon, Jane's Addiction took the stage. Perry Farrell was moving and jumping around pretty darn well for a guy in a walking cast. But, I guess it wasn't good enough for Perry because he ripped it off after the first song and danced around even more. Whatever he's taking, I want some! Dave Navarro was looking especially hot that night. And because I got lucky with awesome seats, we were close enough to read the "CE" on his chiseled, bare chest. Nice. By the end of the show, though, Perry's meds must have been wearing off; he was hopping on his left foot a lot, staying off the right.

By the end of the show, my cuz was asking if I knew of an all-night frozen custard place (Hmmm, cravings. I remember those. Ah, good times). That got me thinking. It's not really a trip to Austin without visiting Amy's (Freakin' INCREDIBLE) Ice Cream. Where else can you get awesomely decadent ice cream and hula hoop?

They even gave PE a big honkin' free strawberry-banana smoothie sample when we walked in the door! Since he's a vampire and doesn't eat people food, he generously offered it to us.

The BIG plus is that these cool people play with dolls action figures too!

So while PE hung out with his new Austin homies, we indulged in Amy-goodness. If you ever find yourself in Austin (ahem... *cough* JJ *cough* SXSW), you owe it to yourself to swing by Amy's. I highly recommend the Mexican Vanilla with strawberry crush-ins with hot fudge. Exxxxxxcellent.

Oh, and they're open till midnight (another reason why we were there). Perfect for post-binge-drinking sustenance (not that I was drinking last night, I'm just sayin'. This ain't my first trip to Austin!).

Long story short, I rolled in at 2:30 this morning. Then, the husband (who was still up. Honestly, I think he must be part vampire. He lives off very little sleep ALL THE TIME.) filled me in on my son's soccer try-outs. I finally crashed around 3:30, got up at 6:30 and went to work. If it weren't for my ADD meds, there's NO WAY I would have made it through the day conscious. I think I'm going to be forced to face the fact that I am no longer young enough to pull this kind of stuff off. Not yet (at least not while I've got a script for kick-ass stimulants), but soon.

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Why my husband is my Edward

Months ago, my husband's social calendar for this weekend was fully booked. He had a wedding to attend to out-of-town on Saturday night and had tickets to Buzz Fest for today. It was only much later that he realized that 1.) the Houston Dynamo were playing rivals FC Dallas at home on Saturday night and 2.) Sunday was Mother's Day.

No biggie (for me anyway) really. Sunday is a soccer practice day (Yes, I'm a "soccer mom." At least I drive a Mini Cooper and not a Mini-van!) and I would just take the kids to the game on Saturday night myself (this is usually a Dad-bonding event). Besides, PE hadn't been to a Dynamo game yet!

I'd been kinda-sorta looking around in various toy departments for an orange Ken doll-sized shirt for PE. It gave me something to do while my child looked for a present for their self whatever classmate was having a party that weekend. Never found anything. I should probably expand my options by going to an actual toy store, but I'd probably have to bury my kids in the backyard after that potential experience.

I decided that I would just use face paint to color PE's jacket instead. I did a test with some blue paint (which I would use on his face later) to make sure it didn't stain. And, it didn't. Sweet! I went into the living room and stole the drum stool my husband bought for playing Rock Band and put it in front of the bathroom sink. I laid out five different face paint colors out and got to work. I think it turned out rather well! I put Addidas white stripes on the shoulders and the number for my fave player on the back. SIDE: Now that I think about it, I kinda feel bad for my husband. Before there was Edward, there was Craig Waibel. Actually, Craig's never left the building. There's really still BOTH. It's not MY fault he looks like Jason Statham with a stellar personality and soccer legs! I put PE in a plastic baggy, put some war paint on my own face, don FTF's Wendy's Hamburgers wig and was ready for the game!

Unfortunately, my son wasn't. He was on the verge of puking from a migraine. He didn't even want his usual face paint. I told him that maybe we shouldn't go to the game after all. But my little trooper insisted on going, stating that he would be fine. Wow, I thought to myself. I know this kid lives and breathes soccer, but he must really want to go to this game! Well, one of his best friends is going to be there, so maybe that's it. I load him up with Tylenol and ginger ale and we head out.

I think PE was still a little unsure about this whole experience, not really knowing what to expect from a professional soccer game. I assure him that it isn't at all like the football my husband was used to as a kid in England. This was family fun at it's finest. PE still wasn't sure as he was really only familiar with baseball and American football, but he seemed to relax as he saw what street the stadium was on.

Once there, we meet up with my son's friend and his parents at our section. This makes my son feel temporarily better. My son decides to switch seats with his friend's mom for a while. Right after the switch, that section was designated Taco Bell section or something and everyone got giant foam taco hats!

That guy behind the boys just doesn't look too excited
about wearing a giant foam taco on his head, does he?

We watch the players warm up for a while and I introduce PE to all that is Craig Waibel. PE was impressed, as is everyone in Craig Waibel's presence. SIDE: You have to understand that Craig Waibel is like Houston's version of Chuck Norris. Same facts, just interchange the names. And, if he ever retires from soccer, he probably has a job waiting for him as the field goal kicker for the Houston Texans (see video at bottom).

At half time, the game was still tied 0-0. There was a Mother's Day fireworks display which sounded spectacular. We couldn't see if from our seats, but whatcha gonna do? Then they make the usual announcement for everyone to direct their attention to the jumbo-tron for people who are celebrating their birthdays with the Dynamo that evening. I quickly look up and notice that there was only one birthday listed. The other five said "Happy Mother's Day to...." I thought to myself that was rather funny... and sad that the announcer didn't have the presence of mind to deviate slightly from his script given the holiday. It was then that my kids started jumping up and down, telling me that my name was on the screen. My husband had arranged for a Mother's Day greeting for me at a game he knew he wouldn't be at! All together now: AWWWWWWW! If that wasn't surprising enough, two minutes later a Dynamo rep. came down to my seat and presented me with two orange roses!

I love this man, even if he did text me this evening from Buzz Fest that he had just eaten pizza with the boys from Papa Roach. So, yeah, the kids were totally in on it. This would be why my son braved the game and the surrounding area's pot hole-filled roads (I swear, everytime I hit a bump he turned a little bit greener) with a migraine. I guess I love them too! ;)

UPDATE on face paint and PE compatibility: We discovered something important last night about the face paint. It comes off ALL over your hands. This would be why there is only one picture of PE at the game. Also, as I was bathing PE this morning, I noticed that the orange didn't completely come off on all parts. It's not really noticeable and I have faith that it will, in time, wear off. But, that will NOT stop PE from donning some guyliner Tuesday night. I will, however, need to find an orange shirt for future games.

Happy Mother's Day!

I'll post about last night's game in a bit, but this was just too awesome not to post right away! Enjoy!

Saturday, May 9, 2009

Ready for battle!

PE is going to his first Houston Dynamo game tonight! The fam always dresses up for the games (we're season ticket holders) with our jerseys, orange wigs, face paint.... Can't have PE not joining in on all the fun! I think he's really excited!

Go Dynamo!

I probably should have chosen a different motif for his face. He ended up looking a lot like Mel Gibson in Braveheart.

BTW, "Snazaroo" face paint worked great on PE. I did a patch test first and it came right off. No staining! Because of that success, PE is totally gothing up for Tuesday night when I go see NIN/Jane's Addiction in Austin!

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Turtle saving!*

*Sorry it took me so long to post! In all the turtle-saving excitement, like an idiot, I didn't think to take a picture of PE with either one of the turtles. And, since I don't have mad photo-chopping skills, it took me a while to recover from Cinco de Mayo do the photo of Teenage-Vampire-Ninja-Edward.

It would seem that I have a new purpose in life. No, I don't mean blogging about my Edward doll, but wouldn't that be great if it was? Lately, I find myself frequently having to save wayward turtles.

My theory is that this is all due to last week's flood. These poor turtles were probably pretty happy just sitting in their turtle homes watching reruns of Bugs Bunny when the water came up and floated them off to parts unknown. Suddenly, they find themselves in the middle of the street, which resembled a river a few hours before.

Let me tell you, the force of the flood waters must have been something else because we're not talking small box turtles here! These are big honkin' SNAPPING turtles! (Did I mention SNAPPING? You'd think they would be more appreciative of being saved from the menu of the local Road Kill Cafe. Anyway....)

My friend (yes, the same one from the "my-husband-likes-to-play-with-PE kidnapping case") and I were driving back to her house last weekend. She lives in an awesome neighborhood (that I'm completely jealous of) that is covered in lakes and nature trails. The lakes did overflow into the streets near the subdivision entrance, but had now receded. So, here we were, driving with the windows down rockin' out to whatever my iPod was blasting.

Me (changing lanes to avoid the reptilian speed bump): "Whoa! That was a huge turtle!"

Future-Twitarded Friend (I'm working on converting her. Story to be posted soon): "Wow! Can we turn around and do something before he gets squished?"

Me: "Yeah, I was just thinking the same thing. I'll turn around at the next median opening. Geez! How long is this median?!"

FTF: "I know! Usually they're every few feet. WTF?"

Me: "Finally! Hold on. I'm going to go as fast as 105 hp will take me."

I haul butt back the other direction to the next street crossing and almost run over the damn thing myself. I didn't realize that the turtle was sitting at the intersection, over-looking that useful piece of information the first time because I was too busy trying to miss hitting him to begin with. FTF picks up the turtle (let's call him Yertle, shall we?) and we decide to run him down to the lake near her house.

Yertle and FTF

I put on my hazards and she jumps out and places him on the grass next to the lake. Yay us! Warm fuzzies for everyone! We saved a turtle from becoming Hummer/vulture fodder!

Fast forward to Tuesday at work. I stepped outside of our building and there, staring up at me in the parking lot, is another turtle. I can't for the life of me even begin to figure out where this guy came from. But here he stood on the HOT pavement (it was about 90 degrees outside) in the bright sun. Where to put him... where to put him.... Damn, there's no place near water! How the heck did this turtle get here?!

It was then that I remembered that the guy who owned the building behind mine had just built a dirt bike course (Really!) in the land behind his building. SIDE: I work in the sticks, y'all. People out there do random things, like, build dirt bike courses in their backyards. They would do it in their front yards, but there are usually 5 broken down cars and possibly a toilet already occupying that space. When he built the track, he put in a retention pond. Thankfully, due to the abundance of recent rain water, it was full. I pick up the turtle-du-jour and walk the long driveway down to that building. The owner is in the back part of the building/warehouse working on, what else, a dirt bike.

As I start to ask the guy if Mr. Turtle can take up residency in his fenced-off track, Mr. Turtle decides he's had enough of being carried around. He sticks out his head, HISSES at me and starts flailing his arms and legs (with long claws) around. I almost dropped him! His claws were so long that there was almost no way to hold on to him and not have him dig into my fingers. It'd be my luck he'd be carrying turtle-flu or something. The building owner quickly hurries out to the gate of the fence and unlocks it. I hurry after him and set Mr. Turtle down by the lake.

So, that's two turtles in one week. I'm really hoping the flooding is over for a while. I'd hate to think what the next flood might displace! I'm NOT picking up and moving an alligator. Someone can just run over it. Besides, that's good eatin'!

Monday, May 4, 2009

PE and the (Twi)Porn

I was just going to email this to JJ and STY, but since they've been brave enough to post a picture of OME and vibrators, I can be man woman enough to post this:

This is what your husband does to your Edward doll (in your office, no less) when he finds out you've been reading way too much online Twi-Porn fan fiction.

Saturday, May 2, 2009

Whoops, I did it again.

Lost another day to Twi-smut! Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!

I may need to seek help. Soon.